…he wouldn’t be screwed!

Last night we attended the open house at Joeys school. It’s amazing, for a child who “has fun at school but hates it” and what not, he sure was proud showing us around. Not just his classroom, he wanted to share with us the inside of the bathroom, all of the bubblers, among the obvious gym/lunch room, music/art rooms etc.

His teacher is VERY nice and above all she is DOWN TO EARTH! She was an accountant in Chicago for 15 years before she went to school for teaching. This is her 5th year doing so and she loves it! The first thing that she said to us was “he cracks me up!” This is normally when they proceed to tell us how he tells “stories” that are very “imaginative” or something like that.

She began chuckling as she tried to remember what she asked him, in which his reply was “man, I’m screwed!” My jaw just dropped! I thought Mike was going to fall over! She laughed! Out loud laughed! She said that while reminding Joey that he “wasn’t screwed” that they needed to think of a better word to use. That same day “oops! My bad!” also came from him. Knowing that he shouldn’t have used that term in “second grade class” he immediately apologized to her and said “I mean, I am sorry!”

Now, the fact that she has a sense of humor is a relief to me. Yes, my son needs to work on his language however, I don’t have to worry that he will get in trouble for being a boy…

The other day I picked him up from his after school program, and found him sitting in “time out”. I asked what happened a teacher told me that he was sitting there until I got there (30 minutes at that point) because they were playing” Tag” and got “out of control”. My first thought was “Tag” turned into “Tackle”. Understanding the time out, but am thinking “for 30 minutes? wtf?” I asked her if this was the case and it was not. There were 5 boys playing and the next thing it turned into was “cops and robbers”.

“They were using their hands as guns and swords.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Ok yes, we do not want to promote violence, especially at school. I get it. But that kind of time out?

I asked if he listened when she told them to stop? In fact he had, however “they need to learn violence is not ok.”

Poor Joey. He gets in the car and says “I guess this means no tv?” I told him I was not going to further punish him, however he needs not to do it again at school.

I was at a loss of words. Boys can’t be boys…kids can’t be kids…school has been in session for a week…it’s gonna be a long year!

second grade wouldn’t be so bad!

We have all been there, some of us longer ago than others, but none the less we survived…although some people I am not sure how they did it…yes my friends, I am talking about second grade!

Joey does FANTASTIC in school…he reads like he has been doing it his entire life…was on the “math club” last year…DON’T LAUGH…It is not geeky until you get into atleast 7th grade! His teachers always tell us that he is friends with everybody but at the same time is very independent at times as well. 

WHY DOES HE “HATE GOING TO SCHOOL?” He said the same stuff last year on and off, and yes, I have going to work but that is life, but he has only been in second grade for a whole 5 days and the past two days he cries and gets clingy because he “hates school”…I ask him why he hates it? Is someone picking on you? (joey just turned 7 last week, and is the youngest in his class having missed the ‘cut-off” by a mere day for kindergarten. And well, he is a peanut compared to some of the kids in his class) Fearing we may have a bully case on our hands? Did you get in trouble and you need to tell me something? How can it be so bad?

He says that he “has fun at school but I still hate it.”

This is when I want to just throw up my hands…you can’t have fun at something and hate it at the same time…can you? I can’t think of anything. Is this just a feel- sorry- for- me- and- let- me -stay- home tactic? I have NEVER done that and NEVER will…ok I know NEVER say NEVER…but still…

When I told him that he has 11 more years after this and then college…he just looked at me like I just told him that the sky was falling…deer-in-the-headlights all the way and then silently grabbed backpack and got in the car…does he think that I am making him go to school because I am mean?

Whew! He is only 7! I have a long road ahead of me!

8 days and counting

still no word from Eric.

The lab results came back today at an “elevated level above recreational use”…

Going to have a meeting with “the girlfriend” to see is she can shed some light…but we think that she may be part of the issue to begin with. .. at this point we are grasping at anything and everything…while still trying to keep a sense of normalcy for our little ones.

the phone would be ringing

Five long days.

Five long days of not knowing where he is, if he is ok.

Five long days of wondering what we did wrong. Did we give him too much freedom?

Five long days of slowly feeling more and more angry at him for the way he is acting.

Five long days of just wanting the phone to ring.

what the hell is that?

Yes, I haven’t posted pictures as promised…and not that I feel the need to explain this to anyone, but I am going to “catch you up” if you will…if for nothing more than to get things off my chest.

Eric is no longer living with us.

Eric is doing drugs.

Eric has been lying to us for god knows how long.

With all of the lying that we have been catching him in, and the money that we knew he was spending (his has his own account, but if you don’t want us looking at your statement, then don’t leave it out) we thought that there was something goign on.

Sunday while cleaning out garage, mike found evidence of drug use. So many questions, thoughts, fears were running through our minds that I personally wasn’t sure what to feel. I have been numb pretty much since.

We purchased an at home drug kit and when we asked Eric about it on Tuesday night, he denied knowing about any of what we found…denied doing drugs…when asked to “fill the cup” he never hesitated. I thought to myself, “just this once maybe he isn’t lying”… the test book stated numerous times to give it a whole 10 minutes, it may take that long for traces to be picked up…The dot turned red within the first minutes.

He Failed.

He Lied.

He didn’t seem to care.

Mike and I both were suprisingly calm about this. I think because we finally had our answer, we weren’t assuming or speculating…we had answers…well atleast some.

We told him that if he was caught doing this again, he was not going to be welcome in our home.

He said he understood.

That night we ordered pizza and eric seemed fine, considering he was upset that he wasn’t allowed to go out with friends that night or for awhile and that when he was allowed, he would have an earlier curfew.

Yesterday, I came home to an empty house. First thinking that he just went out with friends regardless that we told him not to…and then something made me open his dresser drawer…a drawe full of nothing.

I realized that he didn’t move out, like the note he left said he did, but he ran away. leaving behind his personal belongings, taking with him only clothes and bathroom necessities. He has not much money…no car…he is completely dependant upon others.

He is “going to try this on his own for awhile and will be staying with (a friend). “

A friend, whom we have never heard fo before.

Phone calls from myself have gone unanswered.

I am done calling.

Locks will be changed tonight.

Boxes will be packed.

I feel anger that it has come to this. Sadness that he feels he can’t talk to us. Disappointment that his drugs and friends have come before our family…among so many other feelings. I am still numb…but every now and then I feel the urge to cry…cry for eric, cry for mike, cry for two little boys who will have to be told that their brother doesn’t live there anymore…cry for me because I can’t fix this.

Mike is calm. I asked him how he can be so, he says his “daily life needs to continue”…he is right…I keep telling him that he will be back in a week…mike doesn’t think so…Eric has too much to try to prove and too much pride.