He would have worn a tie.

Picture Day. I can’t remember at what grade I stopped looking forward to it…somewhere between 4th and 5th grade I imagine…between pimples and horomones.

Joey LOVES picture day. Last year (first grade) he came home afterwards upset because we “didn’t let him wear a tie.”  We weren’t aware that he wanted to wear a tie…and I don’t think that the realized it either until one of his friends showed up in one. “Next year, I am going to wear a tie.”

In the course of  the past year at random times, he would blurt out “remember, a tie for picture day this year.” We were amazed that he still remembered.

Today is picture day. I meant to buy him a tie. I thought about buying a tie after work. I forgot.

This morning while dressing himself in his new jeans and white dress shirt, he stops. Looks at me. (straight in the eyes, head tilted to one side…actually kind of like Zoosey does when I ask him “where’s the rabbit?” no, there is no rabbit, however when we ask him he gets all excited and looks for something, assuming a rabbit.) And says “You forgot my tie didn’t you?”

The guilt. All the wanted to do was look nice and grown up for his pictures, and I forgot.

Tilting my head to the angle of his, “I am so sorry Jo-bo.” Tears actually filled my eyes. I let him down. something so simple and I failed.

He stood up, walked over to me, hugged me and said “It’s ok mom I still love you.” and gave me that smile that i love so much.

I would take a nice purring cat!

My dog. I love my dog. I call him my dog when he is a good boy…when he is being a bad boy (or when I am tired and don’t really want to get up to let him out) he is mike’s dog!!

One thing that you should know about Zoosey, is that he is loud. Yep…We could be INSIDE the store FOUR blocks away and hear him barking because someone pulled in the driveway!! Ok maybe not that bad…

This morning I woke up and as I walked out of the bedroom, I must have startled him (asleep at the bottom of the stairs) All of the sudden he started barking! I yelped and ran into the bathroom like a child running into bed, afraid if they are too slow the monster under the bed will snatch their ankles!

Once I shut the door and laughed “stupid dog!” I turned to see Alice sitting on the toilet (she is a cat!) and purring for me so softly. It is a morning thing with her and I…she gets her “loving” before my morning shower and before bed…she is a bathroom cat…if she hears you walking that direction, she will beat you in there!

we could stop counting

Two days short of 5 weeks…33 days.

That is how long it has been since we have had contact with Eric.

We hear the lies that he continues to tell his grandparents and mother…and our frustration grows.

33 days is how long the boys had not seen their brother. 33 days is how long it takes for a 7 year old to say that he “doesn’t care” if he “ever see’s him again” because “he doesn’t love us anymore”.

33 days is how long we have been internalizing our thoughts and emotions more than we want to admit.

33 days of trying not to bring it up in conversation and have a “stress free dinner”.

33 days of hell

33 days…and tomorrow it will be 34.

A single Cricket would be worth a million dollars!

They are everywhere!

You walk through the grass and you can watch them dash around…they are on the patio just sitting there…some are big and black…some are small and grey…but they are all OVERWHELMING!

Spiders too! We have never seen so many of either at one time ever! The strange thing is, that at night you would think that they would be so loud…but actually we don’t hear any of them!

Is it just us? Has anyone else seen an abundance of these “critters”…Could we be promoting this somehow without realizing it?

“Yeah, I can’t come into work today, we are under attack of Crickets!”

Could the insects be taking over the world?!?!

Tell me we are not alone!!

it would be PERFECT every time!

I don’t drink coffee. Occasionally a “Girly” drink from Caribou…(if my saturday morning starts with Mike saying “want a Caribou?”, I know that it is going to be a wonderful day!!)

MIke does Starbucks. A lot. Well he did. Santa brought him a capuccino maker last year and he uses it faithfully every morning. He smiles because he loves his coffee, I smile because I know that we are saving $4.50 already at 5AM and that the machine has paid for itself like 3x by now! HOWEVER…

Occasionally we do still do starbucks…ok, occasionally is once a week…and I am DONE.

“ICED TEA LEMONADE PASSION SWEETENED GRANDE.” Not hard. Shouldn’t be hard. And when it is made correctly it is the most amazingly refreshing drink in the morning. But when it is made WRONG it tastes like crap. It is sour and makes the sides of your mouth twinge in pain. Although cheaper than a cup of coffee, I can’t waste the money, so I drink it. All. Disappointed at the same time.

This morning I realized that I am done. I do not need to play the guessing game. I don’t need to waste the money. I don’t need to have corner of my jaws scream at me.

Unless I can be guaranteed that it will be PERFECT, I don’t want it! (ok really I do)

And lets face it…there are NO guranatees in life!!

Hope you all have a great weekend!!

Harley would bring me sunshine!

Because we don’t have enough going on, we are dogsitting for our friend Harley! He is a goldendoodle and we just LOVE him…he is black and just a wonderful dog! All we have to do is mention his name in our house and Zoose cocks his head to the side, looks around and starts barking! If dogs have best friends, Harley is Zooses!

We have a joke with Harley’s “mom and dad” that whenever he comes to stay it rains! We have had nothing but HOT HUMID days the past month, and “right as rain” Harley comes tomorrow, for the first 6 days of his “33 days in 2 months” stay…and we are supposed to have highs in the 60’s and RAIN! as in I heard 1-4 inches of rain tomorrow alone!

Ok, so we keep a pile of towels handy by the doors (Harley actually is trained to wipe his own paws and close the door behind him!!) but we FINALLY did all that yard work last weekend…now we have two big “grassless” areas of yard, that will be mud, outside of both the front and back door!

Mike and I laugh, because as Tim McGraw sings “in my next 30 years I am gonna cry a little less and laugh a little more”…and those are words to live by.

I wouldn’t have to deal with the crap.

What’s new with me? us? Let me see…

I spent three to four days last week in so much back pain that nothing seemed to help. Actually it got to the point where I knew that I needed to see a chiropractor…UGH. My hips are not aligned and I have begining of arthritis in lower back. and the good news? I am only 28!! nice.

Three weeks and not a word from Eric. Stress level is a big high at our house. It is an unspoken stress, one that we both know is there but really don’t want to spend hours upon hours talking about. Not knowing what to do etc…can’t even begin to describe.

My grandmother was in town from Phoenix and I was unable to see her because A) my back never would have let me sit for 4 hours in a car and B) with the current circumstances with my parents, I didn’t want to take a chance of once again “ruining” a good thing. C) I have spoken to my grandmother about both of the reasons and I know that she is as disappointed as we were that we weren’t able to see her. I love her very much.

And now for this mornings eye opener…I get a “shame on you email” from my mother for “not making an attempt to visit grandma”…ARE YOU KIDDING??!!  Let me just give a big ol “SHAME ON YOU FOR NOT MAKING AN ATTEMPT TO VISIT YOUR DAUGHTER AND HER FAMILY!”

And that is how my morning has started first thing…coming from a mother who doesn’t have the stregnth to talk to me without hanging up because she doesn’t want to have a certain conversation or any at all..

Thank you and have a great f’n day!