We would know how to handle his boredom

Last week we received Joeys report card. Straight A’s! He has received highest marks in all of his subjects..even his excellerated Math and Reading classes! We are so very proud of him…onlything is that he received “checks” in three areas of needing improvement:

1. Use Time wisely

2. Follow directions

3. Pays attention

Neither of us were very suprised at these marks since they are issues that we have been working on since Kindergarten!

It has begun to concern me the past month or so when we would ask Joey if he likes so school..without hesitation his reply is always “No.” and when he is asked why he states “It’s boring.” Ofcourse we ask why it is such a bore and he says that they “only get one recess”. And that is about all he has to say.

Homework used to be a battle. Two simple pages in the math book turned into an hour of “I don’t get this” and “I am just not that smart of a kid mom”. Basically he didn’t want to put forth effort and wanted us to give him answers. One day I came home, turned on the kitchen timer and said “I betchya can’t get all 30 problems done in 5 minutes.” and it was on! Within 2 minutes he had them all complete and correct and Yeah! Homework was done!! After praise and recognition he was very proud of himself and I no longer need that timer!!

At the conference last night I explained to his (fantastic!) teacher what we notice at home..how he will get in the car and repeat her lessons to us, from that day…everything from what a predicate of a sentence is (I needed a refresher!) to information on the leather back turtle… and she reported her findings in the classroom..He is the only second grader she knows that is able to describe the presidential canditates different polices on health care! He is able to log onto the computer and access Google and actually use it correctly! He is at the top of his class, a very compassionate child when it comes to helping others and engrossing himself in a topic of interest… We came to the conclusion that he is VERY smart…His weeks start off well in class but by Wednesday he is not paying attention etc…because he is BORED! He has grasped concepts earlier in week and by wednesday he simply hears “blah blah blah”… She is going to start providing him with more “indepth” concepts in each class and see if that helps…He is in second grade, he should LOVE school!

For me it is a tricky situation…I feel that he is only 7 and I don’t want to overload him with work that is maybe too much for him, but at the same time if he isn’t happy with his current cirriculum and he can excell with something more challenging, then I want that for him as well.

 I Know we aren’t the first parents to experience this situation…any suggestions?

We wouldn’t have to tell our kids such things

Joey had a cub scout meeting last night. My intentions were to drop him off and then come back in an hour and pick him up…giving me enough time to mop my floors at home…but it wasn’t that easy.
Instead, I walked him inside and he started to get nervous. He whispered to me , “don’t leave me here. I am nervous.” His little eyes swelling up. I told him that I was very proud of him for using his words and telling me his feelings, and that I wouldn’t leave. I had him sit at the table with his fellow scouts and I sat in the back of the room…thinking of my floors and how I was going to be up later than I wanted tonight doing them…
Tonights discussion was about stranger danger. They read off different scenarios and asked the children what they should do. To my suprise they were very blunt with the boys. One leader, a former police told the boys straight out “there are people in this world who want to hurt you. I am not trying to scare you, but you need to know that they will hurt you.”
That got their attention and mine.
I heard a statistic on a commercial the other day and again last night at scouts. I was shocked and horrified.
“1 out of every 6 boys will be sexually abused.”
I felt my throat tightening, my eyes starting to burn. I wanted to cry. Grab my son and keep him within my reach forever. I was scared…scared for each and every one of the boys in that room. Scared for all boys. Scared for their parents and loved ones.
I also felt terrible at the fact that I wanted to get my floors cleaned and I was sitting there thinking about how my “plan” was going to be off and this and that. I realized that my son is safest when he is with me. Nobody can hurt him if I am with him. My floors could wait. Will wait.
I was freightened…still am

This wouldn’t happen.

When I decided to start this blog, it wasn’t going to be all about my family. Actually, it was going to be a place for me to share my thoughts and feelings on different things that I just don’t understand. Things that if we lived in a “perfect world” wouldn’t happen. I realize that it didn’t take me long to lose sight of what I really wanted this blog to be about. This morning I was reminded.

Just like you, I read blogs from other people. Complete strangers to be exact. But over the past year of reading about their daily trials and tribulations, you begin to feel a conection of sorts. It is like you are looking in through a window into a glimpse of a very small part of their life. Some you can relate to, others you can’t. Some make you laugh while others make you think and ask yourself “what would I do?”

Confessions of a CF Husband. I can’t even start to tell you their story, it is one that you need to read for yourself. Nate’s wife Tricia has CF. They tried for a long time to get pregnant and had given up because her health was failing and she needed to be put on the list for a lung transplant. The day before they were to pack up and leave for the hospital to begin the waiting process, she found out she was pregnant. Risking it all, they decided to keep the baby.
Long story, Gwenyth Rose was born prematurely…Tricia struggled for life. Shortly after the birth she was put back on the waiting list and on Nate’s birthday, they received the call that she would be getting her new lungs! It went well. Nate, Tricia and Gwenyth were all released and doing well…Until Tricia was diagnosed with lung cancer. They thought they got it early enough. She did chemo and found out yesterday that it did not help, and they think that it may have spead to her lymph nodes.

WHY? Why have this poor family go through all that they have. A husband having to face losing both his wife and daughter? Why have Tricia face losing her life to CF, giving her the gift of a beautiful daughter and a new set of lungs, only to have them turn on her like this?

This story and many others really make me question what so many believe in…what so many put thier faith in. What kind of god that is so great and wonderful, put a family through so much pain and heartache?

Is it just me, or are these good?

I don’t have a fancy camera. I don’t walk around with it attached to my palm…but from time to time Mike and I will go downtown Chicago and I will get snap happy. Sometimes there are those few photos that I think turned out good. I was playing around with some that I took yesterday and I REALLY like these…what do you think?

 

 

I printed them out in 8×10’s and that makes a big difference. Be honest. If you like them let me know, if you think that they are nothing great…tell me too…no worries…all that matters is that I like them!

he would look at the camera just once!!

Saturday we took the boys to a pumpkin farm…not just any pumpkin farm…and INCREDIBLE PUMPKIN FARM! When they said “over 10,000 pumpkins” they weren’t kidding! Mike and I have never seen so many! The boys loved the petting zoo and “jumpy things”…the childrens corn maze was fun…considering it was sunny, no breeze, and 85 degrees, it was perfect! Actually had it been a little cooler we could have spent all day there!

Take 1!

 

TAKE 2!

 

TAKE 3!

 

TAKE 4!

If you ask Joey what he liked best, he will tell you all about the baby goat that wanted to “eat his skin”! Apparently Joey has just the right amount of salt on his skin..this little guy kept licking and licking his hand and arm. Thank heaven for hand sanitizer!! Just look at his smile! So genuine!

 

 

Holding tight to each other on the 20 foot slide!

You won’t see too many photos on here of myself…my least favorite thing to look at…but I have so few photos of me and the boys…they are getting so big!

I would see her more often

This is my neice Skylar. I love her to pieces! With her family living 3 hours away, we don’t see them as much as we would like, but when we do it is always a great time.

These were taken of her last weekend…I can’t believe how she is turning into such a little girl, and no longer a baby. That is a good thing, since her mommy (my sister) and daddy, suprised us with the news that they are having another baby this April!!  We are so happy for them!!

 

They would let me get shots like this more!

Here is a photo of the boys taken last week…I Love it when they let me take their photo!!

Joey on left , Mikey on rightThey love each other sooo much!

it would make sense.

Still no word from or on Eric front.  Week #8 is here and I hate to admit it , but life is going on with or without him…as a family moving on is difficult.

We noticed on his bank statement that he has been shopping at a local Tobacco retailer. Not the normal one he has been going to for sometime. We took a drive to check it out and from the outside the walls were lined with paraphanalia….and not much else.

My question is, how can it be legal to suplly the stuff but not to actually use the drug? Shouldn’t the retailers if you will, be held responsible to some point as well? Afterall if they weren’t selling it would be more work for people to “use”.

Christmas is fast approaching (which is another stange thing to think about, holidays, possibly without Eric). We are now faced with that notion. What do we do? Do we buy him gifts in hope that we comes around? Do we say “sorry kid” if he does? What is the right thing to do?

This is the first Thanksgiving that Mike and I will have no children with us to share. Both of the little ones are with their other families this year. Christmas Eve will be the same. We are thinking positive that it will be fun and different and according to Mike, “hey, we can eat pie naked!”

I love this man for his wonderful sense of humor!!

every day would be just like this!

And I was afraid Joey needed a coat this morning!

Have you been outside today? It is gorgeous! Sun shining, 70 degrees…no wind…not a cloud in the sky…every day could be like this…year round…and I would be happy. Is that asking mother nature too much? I just saw Saturday is going to be … 78!! We have plans to take the boys to the pumpkin farm, ok so it may feel strange drinking warm apple cider while wearing short sleeves, but I am not complaining!

Speaking of pumpins, reminds me of Halloween. Joey wants to be a “black warewolf”  and Mikey a Stormtrooper. Easy enough. Go to Store. Find right size. Purchase. WRONG! I am going to make Joeys costume!!  Yep, you read correct…no hints, will post a picture of finished project…I am nervous…so is Joey!!

I wouldn’t be ashamed to have beans!

I take drugs. Ok well, prescription. I am not an addict. In fact I have to really work hard daily to take my little white “bean”. Not a lot, only 10mg. When I take this new “bean” I feel good.

I tried the same one about a year ago and I felt sick to my stomach 24/7. I would be extremely tired 24/7…and yet at 3am every morning like clockwork, I would wake up. Unable to sleep. Usually followed by crying out of frustration because I just wantd to be “normal”. A few hours later I would find myself staring at the little white pill telling myself I needed to take it. Did I mention my sex life went to hell as a result? After 2 months I gave up. Done. Finished.

I felt much better. I was sleeping. Eating. and hey! Having Sex! Life was good. Kinda.

I am a thinker. I think. A lot. Constantly. Do you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and find yourself back in bed, drafting emails in your mind? Trying to balance the checkbook in mind? How about thinking about what to have for dinner? I realized, this, is not normal…is it?

Three weeks ago, I tried my little “bean” again. I call them “beans” because it sounds better than “pills”.  My doc gave me 5 months of the little buggers in sample packs and I still have 3 months left. I knew the side affects but thought this time I would give it longer to even out.

Would you believe that other than having no appetite (not complaining) I feel great? I am sleeping better than ever, still a little upset stomach from time to time, but I feel great. But then why is it I am starting to feel ashamed? I don’t like having to take beans to feel this way…I don’t like having to feel like if I don’t take one I am going to turn back into my worrisome self…turn into someone who has so many damn things racing through her mind at any given moment that she feels like she may explode…someone who lets her emotions get the best of her and tries to keep them quiet until one day she just blows up…someone who has no patience when she should…someone who loves her husband and her children so much that she at times feels like if she doesn’t take a pill she will never slow down enough to tell them and show them how much they mean to her….someone who she doesn’t want to be…someone scared and insecure…someone who at times gets so upset when she argues with others that she asks herself “why, what’s the point?”…

I know that I am not alone. I know that there are millions of people who feel like I do…but I do feel alone. I feel alone because I don’t feel I can talk to the people I love about this….they don’t really understand what it is like to feel what I feel…when I explain, they look at me with a sadness…they say they understand but they don’t…they can’t…and that, hurts more than anything.

So, I will continue to eat my beans, and like it…not because I want to, but because I have to.